Ex-Wives and Ex-Lives: Survival Guide for the Next Wife | 
| Author: Paula J. Egner
Publisher: Aptly Spoken Enterprises
List Price: $10.95
Buy New: $6.40
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Rating:  18 reviews
Sales Rank: 180711
Media: Paperback
Pages: 128
Number Of Items: 1
Shipping Weight (lbs): 0.4
Dimensions (in): 8.4 x 5.5 x 0.4
ISBN: 097529640X
Dewey Decimal Number: 306.84
EAN: 9780975296400
ASIN: 097529640X
Publication Date: August 2004
Availability: Usually ships in 1-2 business days
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Product Description
A candid (albeit at times tongue-in-cheek) expose of the challenges of remarriage, told from the second wife's perspective. Unlike books written by those who have never experienced being a second wife, the author of Ex-Wives and Ex-Lives is an ex-wife, a second wife, a bio-mom, and a stepmother. Reading this book is like sitting down with an old friend - a remarried friend who knows first-hand what you are going through. You will come away with the assurance that you are not alone in your struggles as a second wife. Even more, you will know that it is not you that is crazy, but rather the crazy-making situation called remarriage.
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| Customer Reviews: Read 13 more reviews...
 No Your Not Crazy...Next-Wife Feelings Are Common January 23, 2005
DC Reader (Washington, DC United States)
23 out of 24 found this review helpful
If you are a "next-wife" seeking validation for the assault of feelings that invade your sensibilities after saying "I do," then "Ex-Wives and Ex-Lives: Survival Guide for the Next Wife" by Paula Egner offers a shoulder to lean on. At only 125-pages, this little manifesto for next wives packs a punch (and even features women in boxing gloves on its cover). It reviews some of the common weebie-jeebies next-wives face - dealing with the grandmother who has photos of your husband and his ex-wife all over the living room, the feelings common to stepparents, handling hostile in-laws, living in his ex-wife's house, and managing the antagonistic ex who manipulates her children to spy on you and your spouse. Unfortunately it seemed like some of the anecdotes Egner drew from real step-couples had marriages ending in divorce - not a cheery thought indeed. Strategies for coping suggested here are minimal but helpful. If you have the stepmom-next-wife blues and need to hear a small voice to assure you that no, you are not losing it and your feelings are normal, this is the ticket.
 I'm a "second" wife, 1st in my husbands eyes!!! March 18, 2006
Kat Kerston (Sonoma county CA.)
9 out of 16 found this review helpful
I was looking for a book to give to my dear friend who is about to become a step mother to 3 kids. Reading the review below I must comment. I met my husband 3 yrs. ago (we were in our 40's) and we have been married 2 yrs. He has an 18 yr. old son. Yes, step families can be difficult. But if you handle yourself with maturity and grace, you'll be fine. My marriage is as close to perfect as it gets. In my husbands eyes, I am number one. Listen, its not that the children don't count. Of course they count and I have no problem "sharing" my love with my step son. My husband and his son have a dynamic relationship and I respect that. In turn, my step son respects his dads relationship with me. And I fit in too with my step son. Yes, it can take time to establish a comfort zone. But don't allow children from a past marriage to dictate whether you will marry or not. I agree with the one reviewer who said something like you should never settle being second best. A couple that marry should know they are Twin Flames. Nothing, and I mean NOTHING is as important as your marriage. This is the person who is with you through all of lifes trials! My father taught me that my mother comes 1st and I understand and respect it. I saw that love when she got breast cancer the first time. He was the only person who could love & comfort her THAT much. Not her children. Not her mother. But her soul mate - my father, more importantly, HER husband. My husband is like this with me. Never in my life have I loved this much or felt this much love back. So, if you are thinking of marrying a person w/kids, and you are in love with each other, don't fear it. You can, with patience and love, make it work.
As for ex wives or husbands, you can't control how THEY act, but you can control how YOU handle an obsessive ex. My step sons mother was a bit possessive/obsessive with phone calls every day concerning their son. But I expressed my concern over it because my husband was annoyed at her. HE was the one who handled her. He said - "Please don't call when my son gets a new tooth brush. Important things only, please." She did back off. I also established a contact with her so that she could feel comfortable phoning our house with important issues. Yes, she will be in my husbands life. Does that bother me? No. I know who he loves.
So read the book if you like, but in my view, if you handle things without yelling and screaming, again, with maturity and grace, you will get the respect you deserve.
The last one wins. . . . June 30, 2006
S. Vane
6 out of 6 found this review helpful
I had really been struggling w/ my boyfriends ex wife and his ex life. When I seen this book I knew I had to get it and I am glad I did. So many things in the book were exactly what I had been going through. This book not only helps you learn how to cope and deal w/ your significant other's past but it also helps validate your feelings. I got a peace of mind from this book realizing that it was not just me. That the things I have been experiencing are normal and to be expected. I also let my boyfriend read it so that he could see and understand for himself what I go through. The book is well written and blunt, the author does not sugar coat the issues, which I like. The book will help you realize that it does not matter that there was one (or however many) before you, all that matters are you are here now. The book said something that I had never really thought about before and that is the fact that although I may never be the first wife I can be the last and that is all that matters. I would encourage anyone who is having to deal w/ an ex wife and an ex life to read this book.
 Great for next husbands! April 10, 2006
James T
3 out of 3 found this review helpful
A friend recommended this book to me, even though I'm not the next wife ... but I am the next husband! I was amazed at how it applied to my situation. It's obvious that the author understands how it feels not to be the "first love" of your partner. The scenarios are truthful, blunt, and emotional. But it's written with a sense of humor, which makes these tough situations easier to read and digest. I would highly recommend this book for other next husbands!
Next wife: You need this! April 22, 2006
J. Horowitz (California)
3 out of 3 found this review helpful
This is a great book for women who are going into a blended family remarriage. I am now into this situation and did not have any clue what I was going to get into in the beginning. Ex-wives are a pain in the marriage especially if the ex wife is the bitter one. If your new found love is not committed and will not put you in his priority list then it is useless for you to even try to get into it. He should be strong enough to not worry about what his ex feels but should worry more about how you the next wife feels. Almost most of the situations described in this book happened into my remarriage. LOVE is the only strongest hold in this kind of relationship. I give this book a 5 star rating. If you know of somebody going into this remarriage into a blended family situation, gift her with this book. She will appreciate your thoughts.
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